Mom: I haven’t heard from you in over a week.
Me: I’m recovering from having my neck zapped, remember?
Mom: Well, you could still call your mother.
Me: Well, you’re a nurse, you should know better.
Mom: Not about that.
Me: You knew I had a painful surgical procedure that leaves me screwed up for a few weeks afterward. That calls for a pretty generic response in the “How To Be A Mom Who Is Also A Nurse” handbook, and your phone works fine, so there’s no reason you couldn’t have called me in the last TEN days to see how I’m doing.
Mom: … (starts yelling at my stepdad to put the dog down)