Better Now, Thank You
I curled back up in bed for a few minutes this morning - after eating my Frosted Mini-Wheats and drinking half of my cuppa joe - and… well, *basked* is really the only appropriate word, in the softness of my down comforter snuggled up all around my ears. I don’t climb back into bed often on workdays - mostly I’m late to the office because I’m reading or breaking a vibrator - but the weather was overcast, cool and foggy, and it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Turns out it was.
I had the first moment of something good I haven’t felt in a long time, longer than I can remember. I’m not sure how exactly to describe the feeling save as a combination of contentment, happiness, optimism, peace - something warm and shining and pure that gleamed nacreous in my heart’s eye like a pearl formed around a splinter of obsidian. I know I’m waxing goth-melodramatic here, and I hope that you readers three will forgive me for same, but that’s really what it felt like. I can still almost find that fleeting feeling of calm shining clean and white with all the colors of my emotions playing beneath its surface, but only if I don’t try to grab onto it or stare too long at it. I’m better now, but only if I don’t try too hard. Probably a zen koan in there somewhere.