So Whatevah…
Since The Grand Poobah is loving (lo-ving!) the fact that I’m getting moribundly existentialist (and apparently redundantly adverbial as well) just a little too much as it makes him seem optimistic by comparison, I shall endeavor to bust outta my grand funk long enough to be interviewed (hey, I asked for this, dammit).
For Da Goddess:
1) Paper or plastic?
Plastic. I can reuse the bags to carry my lunch and to line the trash can in my bathroom. They’ve got handles. And they’re stretchy. Stretchy is fun. Except when it’s dangerous, like when my big toe gets caught in a stretchy handle and I trip and fall and hit my head and get a subdural hematoma and die. When that happens paper is better.
2) At what point in your life did you feel like an adult?
Whoa there sister, what’s with the use of the past tense? Who said I have ever experienced that particular feeling? Although I did just buy my very first microwave all by myself (all the previous microwaves were either gifts or my ex-husband’s), so I guess purchase of a semi-major appliance is one indicator. What if it were a toaster oven? Somehow toaster ovens just don’t seem as adult to me – maybe it’s because you can’t zap stuff in them, just sit and stare at it while it gets all melty and brownish. And that’s also what happens when you leave a candy bar out in the sun, which is something kids do a lot. Ergo sum. Or something. Am I babbling?
3) Who was the best teacher you ever had and why?
James Valentine DuPratt. High school AP English teacher. Wind beneath my wings, believed in me, yadda yadda – the first person who had ever read something I’d written that I cared passionately about and told me I was good. Not just good, but that I was going to be a great writer, and to not ever stop writing, no matter what anybody else tried to tell me about what would or would not sell. And I believed him – still do. He was like that. There’s nothing like the faith of a great heart to help a body put one foot in front of the other and keep moving.
4) If you could go back in time and say or do something different, which childhood wrong against another would you correct?
Back to when I was eleven or twelve, I think – I would not have slapped Chantelle in the face for slapping my best friend Missy. I would have talked through what had happened instead of rushing to rescue someone who didn’t need rescuing.
5) Have you ever met one of your heroes? Who was it? Did they live up to your expectations or impression of them?
Besides Mr. DuPratt? Yes, Octavia Butler. I don’t subscribe to the “Cult of the Writer” and get all trembly in the knees and foamy about the mouthparts when meeting famous authors, but shaking her hand was amazing. Especially because I was introduced to her as an “up and coming young writer” (all the other writers in the room were middle-aged or older and this was a few years ago). I was all quivery and babbling (just like in #2) and didn’t want to wash my hand until I’d rubbed it all over my laptop for good luck. She was gracious and friendly and interested, which was more than I deserved, considering how big an idjit I made of myself.
For Jim at Jimspot, his 5 Questions For Inkgrrl:
1) First of all, the obvious question (in multiple parts, of course). Why don’t you link me, how did you find me and why do you want to be interviewed by me?
‘Cuz I’m too damned lazy to update my template. Oh wait, I just did. So there. Um, guess I missed something, huh? Da Goddess. It’s the sexy thing to do and if Da Goddess does it, it’s good enough for me.
2) Yellow apples or green Granny Smiths?
Granny Smiths. More pucker power. Better pies. Tastier tarts. And hey look, they’re green.
3) What in God’s name inspired you to live anywhere near Hollyweird?
It seemed like a good idea at the time. I was blissfully habitating in Santa Barbara when my ex-husband and I noticed that there were few web design jobs that paid more than $7/hour in that beautiful city, and since web design was his primary skill set at the time (Art Studio major – whaddya want, he should sell a painting or something?) we packed all my boxes of books and toodled southward. Short version – we followed the money.
4) If you were a car, what would you be?
Hmm… I’d rather be a Porsche 928 - black on black, but I suspect I’m rather a mint-green Mini with faux leopard-skin seat covers that reverse to dyed mink and an aaooogah horn that can be adjusted to play Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata and Concrete Blonde’s Greatest Hits.
Your favorite cartoon/comic book character and why?
Toss up between Natasha of Danger Girl and of Katchoo of Strangers in Paradise.
The rules (once again):
- If you want to participate, leave a comment saying “interview me.”
- I will respond by asking you five questions (not the same as you see here).
- You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
- You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
- When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
