Happy Birthday O Philosopher
It’s John Locke’s birthday today. I’d say go wish him a good one, but that would be silly, so how’s about you go read the Declaration of Independence instead?
Vampire Looove
I gave blood today, so technically I’m wounded, in mild hypovolemic shock, and still sassy. Heh.
All y’all Californians should go do so as well - California’s low on our reserve blood supply. You’re not doing the Red Cross a favor, you’re doing yourself and your loved ones a favor. Yadda yadda drip ooze squish. Seriously, you haven’t lived until you’ve watched 14 units of blood run through what’s left of a car crash victim you and your team are desperate to save, and then there’s no more blood left in the blood bank and the patient dies. Fun stuff.
So Whatevah…
Since The Grand Poobah is loving (lo-ving!) the fact that I’m getting moribundly existentialist (and apparently redundantly adverbial as well) just a little too much as it makes him seem optimistic by comparison, I shall endeavor to bust outta my grand funk long enough to be interviewed (hey, I asked for this, dammit).
For Da Goddess:
1) Paper or plastic?
Plastic. I can reuse the bags to carry my lunch and to line the trash can in my bathroom. They’ve got handles. And they’re stretchy. Stretchy is fun. Except when it’s dangerous, like when my big toe gets caught in a stretchy handle and I trip and fall and hit my head and get a subdural hematoma and die. When that happens paper is better.
2) At what point in your life did you feel like an adult?
Whoa there sister, what’s with the use of the past tense? Who said I have ever experienced that particular feeling? Although I did just buy my very first microwave all by myself (all the previous microwaves were either gifts or my ex-husband’s), so I guess purchase of a semi-major appliance is one indicator. What if it were a toaster oven? Somehow toaster ovens just don’t seem as adult to me - maybe it’s because you can’t zap stuff in them, just sit and stare at it while it gets all melty and brownish. And that’s also what happens when you leave a candy bar out in the sun, which is something kids do a lot. Ergo sum. Or something. Am I babbling?
3) Who was the best teacher you ever had and why?
James Valentine DuPratt. High school AP English teacher. Wind beneath my wings, believed in me, yadda yadda - the first person who had ever read something I’d written that I cared passionately about and told me I was good. Not just good, but that I was going to be a great writer, and to not ever stop writing, no matter what anybody else tried to tell me about what would or would not sell. And I believed him - still do. He was like that. There’s nothing like the faith of a great heart to help a body put one foot in front of the other and keep moving.
4) If you could go back in time and say or do something different, which childhood wrong against another would you correct?
Back to when I was eleven or twelve, I think - I would not have slapped Chantelle in the face for slapping my best friend Missy. I would have talked through what had happened instead of rushing to rescue someone who didn’t need rescuing.
5) Have you ever met one of your heroes? Who was it? Did they live up to your expectations or impression of them?
Besides Mr. DuPratt? Yes, Octavia Butler. I don’t subscribe to the “Cult of the Writer” and get all trembly in the knees and foamy about the mouthparts when meeting famous authors, but shaking her hand was amazing. Especially because I was introduced to her as an “up and coming young writer” (all the other writers in the room were middle-aged or older and this was a few years ago). I was all quivery and babbling (just like in #2) and didn’t want to wash my hand until I’d rubbed it all over my laptop for good luck. She was gracious and friendly and interested, which was more than I deserved, considering how big an idjit I made of myself.
For Jim at Jimspot, his 5 Questions For Inkgrrl:
1) First of all, the obvious question (in multiple parts, of course). Why don’t you link me, how did you find me and why do you want to be interviewed by me?
‘Cuz I’m too damned lazy to update my template. Oh wait, I just did. So there. Um, guess I missed something, huh? Da Goddess. It’s the sexy thing to do and if Da Goddess does it, it’s good enough for me.
2) Yellow apples or green Granny Smiths?
Granny Smiths. More pucker power. Better pies. Tastier tarts. And hey look, they’re green.
3) What in God’s name inspired you to live anywhere near Hollyweird?
It seemed like a good idea at the time. I was blissfully habitating in Santa Barbara when my ex-husband and I noticed that there were few web design jobs that paid more than $7/hour in that beautiful city, and since web design was his primary skill set at the time (Art Studio major - whaddya want, he should sell a painting or something?) we packed all my boxes of books and toodled southward. Short version - we followed the money.
4) If you were a car, what would you be?
Hmm… I’d rather be a Porsche 928 - black on black, but I suspect I’m rather a mint-green Mini with faux leopard-skin seat covers that reverse to dyed mink and an aaooogah horn that can be adjusted to play Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata and Concrete Blonde’s Greatest Hits.
Your favorite cartoon/comic book character and why?
Toss up between Natasha of Danger Girl and of Katchoo of Strangers in Paradise.
The rules (once again):
- If you want to participate, leave a comment saying “interview me.”
- I will respond by asking you five questions (not the same as you see here).
- You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
- You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
- When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Hermit Seeking Cave
Unfortunately, the cave I currently inhabit has phone lines and internet access and I can’t close all the windows up tight because the freshly painted walls and freshly refinished floors of my apartment are still outgassing and it makes me nauseous. So folks can reach me a multitude of ways. Mostly my fault because I keep answering the damned phone and checking my email, like I’m terrified I’m going to miss out on something if I don’t stay 100% available 24/7 (I have yet to see anyone try to sneak in through a window).
I’m beginning to think that not only will the Earth not fall into the sun if I’m out of communication with them’s what matter most to me for a while, but the Apocalypse won’t begin either. And I might feel a bit more human and approachable and less miserable and snappy and wound up tighter than a Scotsman’s purse strings. Then again, maybe not. Maybe I’ll just languish and waste away for lack of snarky interaction and head petting. Then again, maybe not.
Thing is, I’m really wanting to hide under my bed, except that my bed’s not high enough off the ground and I’d probably get squished. And there are dust bunnies. Ick. Maybe I’ll camp out in the bathtub instead. I can bring alcohol in there with me, and I don’t have to get all pruny ‘cuz I can also just not add water and instead curl up with the tattered old pink comforter I’ve been dragging around with me since I was twelve. My teddy bear, who’s been with me since I was eleven, can supervise to make sure I don’t drink too much and get my big toe stuck in the drain. And maybe if I stay in there long enough escrow on my house will close and it will be sold once and for all and then magically my divorce will be final too. And I’ll win the lottery. And lose 30 lbs and emerge sleek and toned with a perfect manicure and pedicure and a three-book publishing contract. And there’ll be peace in the Middle East once and for all. Okay, now I’m just being silly and out of touch with reality. Time for my vitamin B. Or more beer.
Busted!
Thanks to Da Goddess, y’all now know my deepest, darkest secret…
YOU EAT PEOPLE!!!
what’s YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla
Pshht… like that’s news to anyone!
Looking Forward
This sounds about right:
Past
|
Present
|
Future
|
Ehwaz - Abrupt changes, moving into new home and environment, travel, swift change in situation.
Lagaz - Intuition, imagination, success in studies, creativity, vitality and passion (especially for women).
Perdhro - Unexpected gains, hidden secrets coming to light, discovering that which has been lost, spiritual evolution.Cast the runes here:Rune Caster
Just So We’re All Clear…
… that Johnny Depp is my new Imaginary Pirate Boyfriend. I’ve been lax in making that declaration public, but now that I’ve determined which pirate I am I figured it was best to come out with it.
I am The Cap’n!
Some women are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn’t eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Woman of Action. You are a female James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones’ locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.
What’s Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!