Writerly link, stat!
On another note, to catch up on my blogging, I went to Big Sur for my birthday weekend, raided the Henry Miller Library, walked amongst redwoods, failed at building a white man’s fire to roast marshmallows (hey, we had zero kindling, m’kay?), saw stars without hitting my head on anything, and toured Hearst Castle. I think I want to buy a place up there and spend my days scavenging for firewood and my nights writing the Great American Novel.
I knew it was only a matter of time before somebody declared war on the Children of the Corn (just kidding, Mom).
Mea culpa - I bought the latest expansion pack for The Sims - Superstar. Hey, whadda want from me? EA.com sent me a coupon for $15 off as a birthday present. It was beyond my control. Leadeth me not into temptation, for I shall shove thee aside and hurtle headlong into the abyss forthwith. And stuff. Yeah. Like that.
Never mind that I’m about fifteen books behind on my reading list, that I have a website to rebuild for this guy (who’s a total sweetie and writes fun stuff), a synopsis to write and a couple of short stories to edit. Never mind that I have to research writing contests and get more of my stuff out there, never mind that I am meeting up with a bujinkan practitioner to set up a training schedule, never mind that I need to join a gym and pay more attention to PookaToes the Fluffy Warrior of Luv lest he succeed in eating my left eyeball next time I approach his cage. Never mind that I’m heading off to Big Sur this weekend to celebrate my birthday in mellow, outdoorsy style and am supposed to raid Las Vegas for a bachelorette party next weekend and go to the Renaissance Faire the following weekend and play tour guide for a new internet buddy the weekend after that and possibly sing at a wedding the weekend after that. I have a brain-sucking monkey on my back the new Sims expansion pack and ain’t nobody gonna get in my way.
Ohmigod I’m in lurve!!! Check out languagehat even if you’re not remotely a language or linguistics geek like me (but I’ll forgive your one-language-speaking-pitiful-self just ‘cuz you’re cute), it’s super keen neato cool with a list of other links that spiral and branch off into the internet’s web o’lanugage-related stuff and a wonderfully clear, concise explanation of Arabic naming practices, which is what sucked my eyeballs into the blog in the first place. Ack - I’m losing my English, I’m so excited. Guess I’ll really have to finish my thesis now, huh?
According to The Shadow, The Onion must be staking out my house. Witness this front-page article titled “Bird Has Big Plans For Cage.”
And I quote:
HENNIKER, NH—Charlie, a Henniker-area cockatiel, announced Tuesday that he has big plans for his new stainless-steel birdcage. “Let’s see—I’m gonna hang the bell from the ceiling and put my seed trough on the right wall. And I’m finally gonna get one of those rolling perches, now that I have the room,” said Charlie between gulps of sunflower seeds. “And once I put up that full-length mirror, it’s really gonna open up this space.” Charlie said he also plans to use some of his bird toys to form a partition in the middle of the cage, creating the illusion of two separate rooms.
I totally can’t let my bird - a.k.a. Pollack, a.k.a. Shithead, a.k.a PookaToes the Fluffy Warrior of Luv - see that article or he’s gonna want a rolling perch and maybe a partition and definitely a new mirror. The bird living in his current mirror is a wimpy ‘ol biatch who he’s gotten bored with putting the smackdown on after eight years of same-old, same-old.
Lebanon’s ‘A-Team of terrorists’ are valued for social services. I know that just sounds wrong, but it’s called winning hearts and minds. Not exactly an original concept.
Nice to know that it’s not just the steel-fanged ferrets in my head that pull this shit. Wonder if shoving a cheese sandwich up my nose would provide sufficient distraction for the ferrets such that I could get a good night’s sleep?
What the hell, I’ll try anything once. Twice if I like it. But then there’s the whole issue of inflamed sinuses and dribbling crumbs out of my nostrils in my sleep. I’d probably end up dreaming that my body had been invaded by an army of croutons who were massing for a final attack on my cerebral cortex and then I’d start thrashing around in my sleep and whack my injured elbow against the nightstand and wake up screaming and cussing and then the neighbors would call the cops and complain and a SWAT team would show up to rescue me from an obvious hostage situation and I’d blink the wrong way and get shot to death while trying to escape to freedom. Probably better if I avoid cheese sandwiches altogether, but maybe I should sleep in the bathtub tonight, just in case…
Kim du Toit has posted Captain Steve’s last message from the sandbox.
Too bad not all our people can come home yet, or ever will. I’ve gotten all the names from Adopt-A-Platoon for my soldiers (Army Engineers in Baghdad), and am slapping together care packages with a little help from friends and family, in and around not babying my right elbow nearly enough. For all three of you who haven’t heard me whine about not being ambidextrous, my right elbow was squished a while back when I was viciously attacked by my kitchen counter (a conspiracy was afoot - it was clearly in cahoots with the pile of laundry I was carrying). Lots of phone calls to local nail salons later (I was in a little bit of shock from the pain so it made sense at the time) I figured out where the closest ER was and how to get there. The kind folks at the ER mocked and irradiated me, then informed me that I have contusions (no fucking shit!) and a teeny hairline fracture (yay me). Gotta love the blunt force trauma stuff. DayngerGrrl is so in da fuckin’ house. I now have an impressive array of Ace bandages I switch out with much muttering and creative cursing when I get too bugged by the way I last wrapped my elbow, and am working on an ulcer from popping more than one Advil every three days (I declined a cast, as I’m right handed and live alone - not always the brightest bulb in the lamp, now am I?). Hey, at least there’s no meatflap to release into the wild this time around.
Okay, so I’m a perverse creature with a sicko sense of humor. This is fucking funny! My thanks to Armed Liberal for making me snort hot Earl Grey out my nose.
Well, one of my flavor finally copped to a subjective truth about us’ns and ’splained it all… hope all y’all read it and take note. Any questions, check back with USS Clueless. He knows everything.