Oh yeah, and Lorax? I’ll be disorganized and unme…
Oh yeah, and Lorax? I’ll be disorganized and unmethodical if you give me cookies ;->
Okay - I may have just had a defining moment of we…
Okay - I may have just had a defining moment of weirdness, kind of a weirdness epiphany. Not a weird epiphany - I’ve had those before and that’s a familiar feeling. No, this is one for the ages:
So I’m innocently perusing Slate and I happen on an article mocking a recent dog show and I’m chuckling along with the writer’s description of the mutant poodle-thing that won best of show when I happen upon mention of something called a Neuticle. Now, that could be the bastard stepchild of a neutron and a testicle, so I’m thinking “Hey, radioactive gonads - you’d never need a flashlight - it’s all good,” and I make the mistake of clicking on the link to read more…
AAAHHHHHH!!!!!! They’re little squishy (like, marshmellow squishy) silicone testicular implants for animals that have been neutered. Just so the fuzzy-wuzzy darlings won’t have a trauma when they discover they are bereft of extra dangly bits to lick and be despondent at their newfound state and perhaps cast themselves bodily into the garbage can and scatter juicy scraps all about in a cry for psychiatric help. Oh yeah, and on one section of the site (I had to read it all, it was like watching a particularly gruesome car accident involving little old ladies, pink poodles and a case of Silly String - no, wait, that would be genuinely funny) they actually warn pet owners not to implant Neuticles that are larger than the pet’s original testicles. To add design insult to injury, the damned site has an intro page of a blue ball bouncing on an invisible (but no doubt cold and unfeeling) glass surface. What’s next? Mammary gland implants for nursing bitches who, maybe, are feeling inadequate when faced with a squirming litter of hungry pups? They could call them Mammicles and you could pop them in the freezer to keep the milk fresh… I’m going to be under my desk, rocking back and forth for a while. Yeah, I think that’s best for everyone.
We’re all teamy and stuff here today, almost a clu…
We’re all teamy and stuff here today, almost a clusterfk in the office, with color-coded t-shirts, color-coded folders, and two hours every other Friday to get organized (incented, no less, by cookies and fruit!). I understand the corporate drive for capital-O Order, but this is all to “subtly encourage” one team member in particular to shape up a bit with her organizational methode…hmmm.
Otherwise, fighting the lassitude of two weeks without enough sleep, trying to keep all the plates spinning and in the air, and still muster some energy for my own creative & domestic activities (to wit, all that domiciliary stuff that Senor Khalil is currently up to his green thumbs in). Have a good weakened, everyone.
warning - whining ahead: I went to the dentist…
warning - whining ahead:
I went to the dentist this morning to get a temporary crown put on and now I feel like my mouth has been savaged by an evil dwarf wielding a mace spiked with fractal chrys-knives instead of good old-fashioned iron. the tooth in question is the rear-most left bottom molar - hard to get to as it is, but especially when you’re trying to sand it down on all sides. and despite what those who know me think, my mouth isn’t physically that big. I guess it could have been worse - if they’d been trying to get at the tooth directly above it, they would have had to go through my left nostril or something. but my tongue is ravaged, the gum around the tooth peeled back and sore, and I’m feeling all of this *through* the numbness which still extends from the middle of my forehead down to that little spot on my neck where my left jugular is most vulnerable. sigh. at least my dentist is cute and a flirt and used to be a surfer dude in Santa Barbara, so we can talk beach time - or rather, he could talk beach time and I could grunt and gurgle and slurp and squint meaningfully. and he had a really cool saltwater fish tank. and played a tropical fish tape for me to groove on while he drilled and sanded and peeled and clamped and squished and abraded and poked and… and now I feel nauseous from the anesthetic, although thankfully I have yet to puke, which leads me to hope that there will be no puking associated with this little dental adventure. one can always hope.
gee - wasn’t that exciting? aren’t you glad you stuck around that long? on the upside, my dear husband got dot-commed a few weeks ago. I say that’s on the upside, on account of because he redid his website to appear more commercial-like for his new job hunt and has now embarked on the greatest adventure of them all: completing my honey-do list around the house. he’s been painting and caulking and sanding and digging and planting and everything. yesterday he planted me ten different rosebushes, all soon-to-be gorgeous, as well as a dwarf lemon and a dwarf tangerine tree. today he’s building trellises (trellisi?) to weave a couple of gorgeous jasmine bushes into for my olfactory pleasure. he’s such a sweetie… who needs cut fleurs for Valentine’s when you can have living beauty all over your backyard almost year-round?
long hiatus over, I’m back. coming to rest once a…
long hiatus over, I’m back. coming to rest once again on the simple but powerful truth that, beneath all the legerdemain and fal-de-ral, I just like to look at stuff, and make stuff to look at. Simple ez that. Not so simple is leaping from the side of the economic cliff I’se on to the side where making and looking is most of what I do. Challenge. Meanwhile, the poor simps I work with come begging for tech deliverance on the most basic shit that they should have learned by now! My mind reels that humans, singularly unique for their ability to learn and transmit information (in addition to lying well, which can *also* be learned and transmitted), are so willing to abdicate the act of learning in favor of having their asses wiped by someone else. As I said to my daughter, “If I eat your lunch for you, won’t you still be hungry?” and thusly.
ookalooka - minor weirdness and the funhouse ride …
ookalooka - minor weirdness and the funhouse ride continues. this may be profound or utter bullshit, but hey, I have baseboards in my house and am not being attacked in the night by herds of feral crickets. right back at ya.